Yes, I am a very moody person. My mood swings would just change in a matter of seconds, minutes , hours or days , most specially during those time when a girl have her red visitor.
People I’ve met would either give up on me or would just ignore it and still like me. The latter are few of my really good friends now, unfortunately they live in some other country. In a sense, tt is actually a really good way to filter friends but for most part it’s annoying.
Annoying why? Well, because sometimes in your life you need some casual friends who you can just giggle with, not that I giggle much these days, friends you can just share some point’s of view or maybe just share a cup of coffee or ice cream. You don’t really need to be best of friends , but friends enough that you want to hang out with it.
Unfortunately when the MOOD sets in, it starts to filter people that I know. It makes me remember the littlest detail of that person and why I should not like him or her anymore. I don’t really do it, but it will start to put doubt in my mind and I will slowly loose interest. Then I become oversensitive with whatever he or she does, finding fault in anything. In this moments, it is a battle with self-control, common sense and mood swings. Sometimes the sane side of me wins but most of the time I just let go and I loose another prospective friend.
I have done a lot of stupid things because of my mood swings, the worst is probably locking a friend out from the apartment. Most of the time I just stop talking and loose interest in them, without telling them that I don’t like them anymore. Some will get the idea, but most don’t so it pissed more, be a little sensitive but of course some people prefer to hear rather than assume and I am not really good with explaining my feelings.
Sometimes, I would make so many excuses , like he/she pissed me or she did that or he did this; but it just as it is… execuses. Too many ..
Back in my 20-something age, I would just go out , join some organized hiking or cooking or anything to meet more people but now that I am in my 30-something , it is just too troublesome already. I just don’t care anymore. And of course I have T with me, who understand me better than most people, so it really becomes more troublesome to go out and meet more people.
So why am I writing this now in the middle of work? Well, I still missed the moments having casual friends and right now I kinda wish that I have one.
Wanna go have some coffee with me? or maybe I’ll just call T later and invite him for dinner that he will pay :)..